A Rose in Bloom
by Yellowdeath
Summary: Ruby has a problem. Pyrrha has a solution. Yang has other ideas. Jaune has no idea why this is happening. Nora has a laugh. Everyone else? They're just hoping to stay out of it. Lancaster/Arkos/Dragonslayer. Post-Season 3 AU.


**A note beforehand, while this fic contains sexual references it's not really explicit, so if that's what you're after then there are much better options by far better writers out there.**

* * *

Her hands surged forward, striking the bag before her with precision and strength. It shuddered under the barrage of blows and she smiled.

She would never be a hand to hand fighter of Yang's caliber, yet it was good to know how to fight in a variety of styles. Her semblance made it difficult for her to be without her weapon but better to be prepared than caught out.

The scar on her heel was a frequent reminder of that fact.

She shook off her reminiscing, returning once more to pepper the punching bag with fierce hits when the door slammed open and a flurry of red filled the air. She barely had time to blink before the wind that followed the crimson blur buffeted her, small, soft objects colliding with her face.

She reached up and peeled one off, staring at the petal for a moment.

"Ruby?" She called uncertainly.

There was a surprised squeak before the trademark red hood of Ruby Rose popped up from behind the weightlifting machine that Nora had broken the year before. Silver eyes peeked out from under the scarlet shroud, gazing into her own emerald ones beseechingly.

"Pyrrha! Lock the door!" Her friend requested.

One perfect eyebrow rose in confusion, but the Invincible Girl had long grown used to the shenanigans that followed the younger Team Leader and her group. With a casual wave of her hand, the door glowed black and clicked into place. Not even Headmistress Goodwitch's scroll would open the door now.

"Okay, it's locked. What's the matter, Ruby?" Pyrrha questioned worriedly.

The shorter girl crept out from behind the machine, her face flushed. She shook her head minutely, staring down at the petal-strewn floor.

"...It's silly," she muttered after a few moments. "I should just-"

Pyrrha laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, forcing Ruby to look up at her.

"Anything that has you upset is never silly, Ruby. As your friend, I want to help you. Tell me your problems and I'll do my very best to make them go away," Pyrrha promised.

Ruby froze, stunned by the sincerity in Pyrrha's gaze for a moment, before she relaxed and sighed.

"Okay… You remember how I was admitted to Beacon early?" She began.

Pyrrha nodded, the story of her first fight with Torchwick had become a well known one. Not many people were accepted into a Huntsman Academy at such a young age.

"Well before then I went to Signal, which was good but not as good as Beacon, obviously, but still," Ruby paused to take a breath. "Anyway, I had a few friends there and I used to write to them before all that crazy stuff happened. But now that they've all graduated from Signal and come to Beacon, it's been a mess. I was happy to see them all but they're all… bleh."

"...Bleh?" Pyrrha tried the word out, imitating Ruby's sticking-out tongue.

"Yeah! They've all grown a bit and gotten into relationships and junk like that. And now they're looking at me funny," Ruby declared, kicking the ground with a huff. "The girls are all 'Hey Ruby, you've been here two years but never hooked up with any of these hot older Huntsmen? Guess you haven't changed at all', and the guys all want a piece of me because I'm not as small as I was and they think I'm on their level or desperate or something."

Pyrrha stared at her in shock.

"They've been harassing you? Ruby, it's been weeks since the start of the year, you should have said something," Pyrrha chided her gently.

Ruby shook her head slightly.

"Not harassing exactly, and only for the last week or so but it's beginning to get kinda annoying hearing that I'm the only virgin in the upper years. ...The worst part is, sometimes I wonder if they're not entirely wrong," she confessed, her head once more hanging in embarrassment.

"I mean, I know that Yang never-" Ruby cut herself off, frowning. "...I just think that maybe I am missing out a bit."

"There's nothing wrong with you being single, Ruby. You've always been a very dedicated Huntress and I admire that. I'm sure one day that you'll find someone right for you and he'll be very lucky for it," Pyrrha interjected, curling an arm around Ruby's shoulder to pull her into a hug.

"Will I though? I mean, all the guys I know are taken and the ones that aren't are not, well, all that desirable," Ruby replied, both a touch miserable and a tad muffled. "You guys pretty much all have happy relationships and here's me, kinda the odd one out."

Pyrrha pulled away to look at the girl stood before her, taking in the subtle signs of despair. The younger girl might not want to admit it, even to herself, but this was clearly getting to her. How could she stand by and watch her friend suffer, the one who had saved her own life?

She couldn't be that selfish. Ruby Rose deserved the best experience it was possible to have and she would personally ensure that the man responsible would be up to the task. But who would that be?

Ren was out, obviously; Nora kept him on a tight leash - probably just a metaphorical one but you never knew. Similarly, so were Sun and Neptune, tethered as they were to other members of Team RWBY. Sage and Scarlet had their own girls back in Haven and Team CRDL, while all single, were not only out on principle but she was also fairly sure at least one of them 'swung the other way' as she'd heard it put. The Fourth Years she was acquainted with were all in relationships too and she didn't know any of the Second Years at all really. That was all the men she actually knew.

Except one.

"Don't worry, Ruby. I said I would help you and I will," Pyrrha declared and her word was ironclad. "Come with me. I'll explain on the way."

She gave a casual wave of her hand and the door opened. With a swish of her ponytail, the Champion of Mistral was gone, leaving a somewhat confused Ruby Rose behind.

* * *

Jaune blinked once, then twice more for good measure. The words slid around in his mind like they were coated in oil, but he was positive that he had misunderstood somehow.

"I'm sorry, what?" he croaked, his throat dry. "I think I might have misheard you, could you say that again?"

Pyrrha stared back at him, her beautiful green eyes sparkling with something he'd never seen before. It made him nervous.

"Please make love to Ruby," Pyrrha repeated, her voice the cheerful sing-song tone he so dearly loved.

"Ah. Yeah, that's what I heard the first time too," Jaune said, utterly perplexed. He glanced at the younger girl beside her, who was as red as her namesake and cradling her head in her hands.

Was this actually happening to him right now?

"...Are you breaking up with me?" He asked, his heart growing cold with fear.

Pyrrha's eyes widened before she shook her head fiercely.

"Nonono. I would never! I love you." She declared firmly. It reassured him slightly but did nothing to relieve his confusion.

"...Alright, fine, but you gotta understand when a girl tells her boyfriend to start seeing other people, it's usually a bad sign," he defended himself.

This certainly had not been what he'd expected when the girl had strode up to him, still clad in her workout gear and a decidedly bashful looking Ruby trailing behind her, before dragging him into a nearby room and locking the door without so much as a 'hello'.

"Maybe I should explain why," Pyrrha said, hopping from foot to foot in embarrassment.

"Yeah that might be an idea," Jaune decided, hoping against hope it would actually make sense.

He listened in bemused bewilderment as Pyrrha painted the woeful tale of his fellow Team Leader's lack of sexual experience (much to the indignant humiliation of the girl in question), before drawing a long, calming breath and exhaling it.

If it had been anyone else he might have brushed this all off as a rather tasteless practical joke.

"I have no idea what's going on right now. This is starting to feel like a really weird dream," he confessed.

Pyrrha smiled at him fondly.

"Oh? Have you dreamt of this before, Jaune?" She teased.

"I'm not sure what you even want me to say at this point," he said uncertainly. "I don't know about this, Pyrrha - isn't Ruby better off finding someone else for this? We're not exactly... in love or anything."

"It's fine, Jaune. You don't have to do this. I just thought you would be the best person to help Ruby out, but I understand your reluctance," Pyrrha concluded. "It wouldn't affect our own relationship at all though."

"I, no, that's not what I-" He swallowed his words in slight frustration. "I just meant that I didn't expect this, that's all. I figured she would prefer - deserved, even - a more special occasion than... whatever this is."

It wasn't like he was against the idea. Ruby was more than attractive enough and important to him. He owed her a lot and it would certainly be no hardship to show her a good time. Maybe if he wasn't in a relationship already something might have happened between them even.

"...But if this is what you want and Ruby is okay with it," He glanced over at his fellow Team Leader, who refused to meet his eyes. "I guess I can't really say no," he finished.

"How grand," Pyrrha chirped, clapping her hands together.

"O-okay, how are we… um, what's the next… step?" Ruby mumbled, still a little dazed by the sudden turn of events.

"Kiss her," Pyrrha demanded of her boyfriend, before turning to her fellow redhead with a soft smile. "You'll enjoy this, Ruby, Jaune's a great kisser."

As nice as it was to hear her praise his technique, he was still a little weirded out by her enthusiasm.

"Are you going to be here the whole time?" Jaune asked tentatively.

"Of course," Pyrrha nodded happily. "Where else would I be?"

It was a fair enough answer, he mused as he faced his new paramour. Silver eyes slowly blinked up at him as he gently laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you really sure about this?" He whispered, determined to make sure everything was alright. "I mean, this is pretty important Ruby. You'll never get this experience with someone you love if you do this."

She thought for a few moments before nodding resolutely.

"I think so. I was surprised when she suggested it, but I don't think there's anyone I'd prefer, actually." Ruby replied softly. "...A-are you? I-I hoped you'd be a bit more-"

Jaune smiled, laying a light peck on her brow.

"If you're happy then I'm happy, I promise. And you know how I am about promises."

Ruby giggled, shaking her head.

"Arc's word? Yeah, I'm happy," she decided.

"Kiss her," Pyrrha repeated in a low whisper, her face eerily close to them.

"Oh for the- alright, alright," he acquiesced, drawing the smaller girl to him. Ruby barely had a moment to let out a surprised squeak before he silenced her with a gentle kiss.

It certainly was a curious feeling, he thought, kissing a girl while his usual romantic partner watched gleefully from the sidelines. Not to mention how different the two were - Pyrrha was a bit shorter than him in her heels, but even with the growth spurt she'd had Ruby was nowhere near either of them. Having to bend down to meet his paramour was going to be a literal pain in the neck, he could tell.

As the moments stretched on, Ruby began to lose her shyness and became more absorbed in their kiss. She was clearly inexperienced but there was definite enthusiasm there.

"How was that?" He asked after he finally pulled away.

Ruby blinked, her face an adorable shade of pink.

"I... Good. Yeah. Can we- more please?" She requested, a little out of breath.

He smirked at her flustered approval.

"Yeah, of course. Give a moment though, just gotta send a quick message," Jaune explained as he fiddled with his scroll.

It beeped in confirmation and he glanced up to see Pyrrha whispering in Ruby's ear. The younger girl's eyes were slightly wide as the Champion spoke.

"Really?" Ruby asked.

"Of course," Pyrrha nodded.

Jaune squinted at the two of them in suspicion.

"What are you-" He began before Ruby stepped forward, reaching up to grab him by the hoodie and bring him down to her level.

Surprised though he was, he was more than happy to return her aggressive affection. After a few seconds she released his hoodie, bringing her hands up to thread her fingers through his hair instead. He retaliated by wrapping his own hands around her shoulders, bringing her to fit snugly against his taller form.

Then he felt her lips part as her tongue began to press at his own lips, seeking entry into his mouth.

His eyes shot open to glance at Pyrrha who was now reclining on a desk, watching with a satisfied smile. Ruby's probing became more insistent, so he admitted her, meeting her tongue with his own. The pair stood, eagerly plying their tongue against the other for a few moments until Jaune tried to pull away again.

Ruby was in no hurry to end however, chasing him and deepening their embrace one more. They continued on for a little while longer before they finally began to separate, a string of saliva joining them briefly.

"Thanks Pyrrha," Ruby said gratefully.

"What are friends for?" She replied, pushing off the desk to stand before them. "But we're not here just to teach you how to kiss, are we?"

She grabbed at the hem of her tank top, pulling it over her head and flinging it to the side in one swift move.

"That seems a bit quick," Jaune commented, nonetheless beginning to undo the straps on his armour.

"It's fine, Jaune. I want this," Ruby said as she discarded her cloak, her confidence growing.

"If you're sure. But we'll take it slow for a while yet," he decided.

"Of course," Pyrrha agreed, now fully nude. "It'll be easy, Ruby, don't worry."

"Alright, great. So, do we... um," Ruby trailed off, a little self-conscious now that they all were naked.

Stood next to a girl of Pyrrha's proportions, she felt pretty small indeed. Though she had grown in the years since she had entered Beacon (a fact that she attributed to regular consumption of delicious milk, naturally paired with cookies), she was still couldn't measure up to the sinful curves that her friend and her sister boasted. Still, that was more than could be said for her partner, a fact that secretly delighted her and undoubtedly irritated Weiss, who stood in the rather more impressive shadow of her own elder sister.

Not that Jaune cared one bit, admiring the soft, pale skin displayed before him without a care. Naked women were naked women and he cherished the sight. Ruby in turn couldn't help but stare at her first sight of the male body.

That was... wow. How was that even meant to work, exactly? It wasn't nearly as big as the descriptions in Blake's books that she'd read when her team wasn't looking (they still thought she didn't know what they really were, hah), nor the videos she'd once found on Yang's scroll, but it was still intimidating.

"Hmm." Pyrrha considered the surrounding room for a moment. "Why don't you come over to this desk over here? It's not the most comfortable thing in the world but it'll work."

She patted the desk she'd been lying against not long before as Ruby dutifully complied.

"Alright Jaune, come over," Pyrrha directed him.

"I still think we should start with something easier. Maybe I could touch her a bit, get her ready," he said.

"She's ready enough. No more stalling."

"Jeez, okay, okay. I just thought you wanted her first time to be a great experience, that's all," Jaune grumbled as he approached his soon-to-be lover.

"What I want is to see her cross-eyed and drooling in the next five minutes," his girlfriend ordered.

"I swear, you're more into this than you are when we're alone sometimes," he grunted, gripping into Ruby's calves and parting her thighs.

* * *

"Fold," Blake said after a second of deliberation.

"Again? Fine." Ren replied, looking along to the next player.

"Well I wanna raise!" Nora's confident exclamation came as she tossed a handful of chips forward.

Weiss smirked behind her cards.

There was a beat as they waited for the fifth occupant to put her move forward, but the usually prepared girl was frozen with an odd look on her face.

"...Yang?" Ren called tentatively.

The golden-haired berserker did not reply for a long moment before she suddenly burst into action, flying off her seat so fast that it was sent careening along the floor.

"My Big Sister Sense is tingling!" She roared as everyone leaned back in stunned surprise. "Ruby is being defiled!"

With a savage snarl on her face and her eyes glowing red she bolted from the table. They watched her go impassively for a moment before Nora reached down to swipe Yang's scattered cards and chips.

"Only a two pair, huh? Shame," she remarked upon reviewing the purloined cards.

"Big Sister Sense?" Blake murmured, still staring at the door that had nearly been ripped off its hinges in Yang's haste to save her sister's virtue while nearby students glowered at them for interrupting their studying.

The group ignored them, long since used to such looks.

"Oh yeah, what was that about? Can siblings really tell when their other siblings are gettin' their groove on, Ren?" Nora questioned her boyfriend.

Ren sighed to himself, taking Yang's cards and chips from her.

"I have no idea, Nora, I'm an only child," he said. "You know that already."

"Yeah but I figured you might know anyway. Blakey?"

The dark-haired girl shook her head, cat ears twitching.

"Me too, though not for lack of trying on my parents' part," she shuddered, repressed memories threatening to break free. "Weiss, you have siblings don't you?" Blake turned their attention to the Heiress.

"Please don't involve me in this," Weiss declared, her face impassive. "Can we get back to playing?"

"Weiiiss, come on, this is important!" Nora refused to let it go, staring at her intensely from across the table.

"It really is not. ...Ugh, fine. Yes, you know my older sister Winter already and I also have a younger brother named Whitley, are you happy now?" Weiss informed them grumpily, unable to withstand the pressure of Nora's gaze.

"And if he was doin' it, would your Big Sister Sense tingle too?" Nora pressed.

Weiss's look of revulsion could have shattered glass. As it was even Nora pulled back slightly, sensing the minefield she was straying into.

"I hope with everything I have that should that unlikely event ever come to pass, I would not be remotely aware of it," Weiss finished, throwing down her own cards. "Four of a Kind."

"Aww," Nora groused as Weiss pulled the chips into her already large pile.

"Nora," Ren said, his voice full of longstanding suffering as he dealt out new hands for the remaining players, "for the last time, stop taking your top off, this is a library and we're not playing Strip Poker."

"You never let me have any fun," Nora pouted.

* * *

Jaune paused mid-thrust as the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. Instincts honed by years of fighting the most dangerous monsters humanity had ever known were beginning to sound a familiar warning alarm.

He was being hunted.

"Jaune?" Ruby questioned, staring up at him uncertainly as Pyrrha continued to stroke her shoulder soothingly.

He opened his mouth to reply but was swiftly cut off when the door exploded into splinters.

Through the wreckage strode a demon.

Luscious golden hair writhed with the pale flames of hell and blood-red eyes, full of enough hatred to match any Grimm, bore into his prone form. If looks could kill, his entire family tree would have been wiped clean.

It had been a good life, Jaune reflected. He had few regrets. One of them was not finishing inside the girl beneath him again, but it seemed that couldn't be helped. Twice would have to do.

Pyrrha valiantly leapt up to defend her beloved, unarmed and unarmoured (or even clothed) though she was. Yang's stride barely even lessened as she grabbed the champion fighter by the throat with her bionic arm and threw her to the side like she was a piece of cloth.

Ah shit. If her rage had empowered her enough to bat aside the Fall Maiden, what chance did he have? Well, at least it would be quick. Very quick in fact. Probably not painless but that was to be expected. Would there be enough left of him to bury? Perhaps in a tin can instead of a coffin.

"Yang! What are you doing?!" Ruby squealed desperately as her elder sister ripped the boy from her grasp with strength fuelled by her immeasurable rage.

Yang paused, her metallic fist drawn back for one mighty, world-shattering blow. Jaune stared at the Four Knuckles of the Apocalypse in fuzzy acceptance. Not even his massive reserves of aura or his protective semblance would help him now. It would only make her angrier.

The crimson eyes of the demon regarded her beloved little sister for a long, tense second.

"Ruby. This… _boy_ violated you!" She turned to gaze imperiously at the dazed redhead on the far side of the room. "With her help. My innocent, pure baby sister Ruby Rose… _deflowered_."

Perhaps, for once, the pun had been unintentional. She certainly didn't seem in the mood for humour.

"It'll be mercy compared to what Dad and definitely Uncle Qrow would do to him," Yang stated.

That was probably true, he mused. He might have been able to talk Taiyang, a kindred spirit, out of killing him entirely but he doubted his ability to sway Qrow, who had never liked him much. Mainly because of his similarity to the elder Xiao-Long; apparently one was enough for Qrow.

"Stop ruining this, I wanted it!" Ruby howled, hurling herself forward. Yang was forced to drop her prey to catch her sister, who writhed angrily in the inhumanly strong grip.

"Ruby," Yang tried, her voice losing some of its edge.

Ruby continued to growl and twist as Jaune did his best to crawl away from the warring sisters and towards his girlfriend. Pyrrha was beginning to stir again, and hopefully she would regain consciousness in time to actually save him.

It was slightly self-serving but this had been her idea in the first place, he felt he was due a little protection.

"I know what this is about," Ruby spat. "You're jealous!"

That froze Yang and Jaune in their tracks.

He turned to see Yang's mouth drop open in shock, her red eyes melting back into their usual lilac.

"W-what? What are you talking about?" Yang mustered. "You think _I_ want to fuck _him_?"

Ouch. That stung a little, though it wasn't entirely unexpected.

"You're just upset that I lost my virginity before you did!" Ruby continued, a note of victory in her voice.

Jaune gaped as a small gasp escaped the girl ahead of him. Pyrrha shook her head free of the mental cobwebs that still clung on after her re-emergence into full consciousness.

Yang's eyes narrowed at Ruby, her thoughts thankfully diverted from her original desire to turn Jaune into a new coat of paint for the walls.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Yang declared. "I'm Yang Xiao-Long, the most desired girl in Beacon. Boys are climbing over each other to ask me out."

It was arrogant, Jaune thought as he helped Pyrrha to sit up, but there was no denying it was true. Even Ren had, in very low tones and under some coercion, with the assurance that Nora would never hear of it, once admitted she was attractive.

Once.

But rare was the boy that didn't want to bed the beautiful blonde - he'd seen more than a few go too far in their attempts to woo her only to end up on the wrong side of her temper. It was a mistake they only ever made one time. Of course, if anyone ever asked he'd claim to be one of those unusual few not taken in by her stunning looks and curvaceous body.

He'd be lying, happy in his relationship though he undoubtedly was. Pyrrha was perfect (strange though she'd been today) and much, much more than he deserved, but a man could have his fantasies couldn't he? There was nothing wrong with looking, surely. Beacon was full to the brim of incredibly attractive women and he was a hormonal man.

It wasn't like she was at all shy about showing off her assets anyway.

"Come off it," Ruby snorted. "You've never had a boyfriend since Signal. And none of those lasted more than a few weeks anyway."

"S-so what?" Yang rallied. "That doesn't mean anything. People can sleep together outside of relationships. You're not _his_ girlfriend!"

The words were delivered with a hiss and a point of her metallic finger. Jaune gulped as Yang's gaze bore into him once more.

"No, I'm not. But I know you. You're all talk, Yang, I bet you wouldn't know the first thing to do with a real naked boy," Ruby said triumphantly.

Jaune admired her confidence. It seemed that getting laid had provided Ruby with a boost far beyond their expectations.

"I know just what to do with a certain naked boy…" Yang growled ominously, her ire rising once more.

"Prove it," Ruby declared.

"What? Ruby! After all I've done to you- for you, I mean," Jaune yelped at the betrayal.

"Oh, I intend to," Yang agreed viciously, taking a step towards him.

"No. Prove you know what you're doing I mean," Ruby elaborated. "Sleep with him as well."

There was silence as the other three stared at her, flabbergasted.

"What." Yang snarled. "You let this boy have his way with you, and now you want me to _join in_?"

"Ruby, I'm not sure about this," Pyrrha interjected. "I mean, didn't you say how you didn't like people teasing you over your virginity? It seems unfair to do that to Yang."

"Pyrrha, let me-" Ruby tried, but Yang cut her off.

"What? What are you talking about? Who's been teasing you?" she demanded.

"That doesn't matter now. I'm not a little girl anymore Yang. I'm seventeen, old enough to join Beacon and become a Huntress," Ruby said.

"You did that two years ago," Jaune mumbled to himself then grumbled when Pyrrha squeezed his shoulder sharply.

"I can have sex with a boy if I want to. And this won't be the last time either," Ruby declared.

Jaune raised an eyebrow at that, turning to his girlfriend who nodded without hesitation.

Gee, so now he was being loaned out like a breeding animal. He'd have to get Pyrrha a purple, feathered hat and matching fur coat to show everyone her true nature.

Nora would probably know where to get them.

"You're not Mom, Yang. I'm in charge of my own decisions now. I don't need you trying to be her any more," she continued.

"Ruby…" Yang breathed out, staring at her sister with the beginnings of tears in her eyes. "I didn't mean to-"

"I know. I don't blame you, but sometimes I don't need protecting. You've got to let me grow up," Ruby finished, wrapping her sister in a hug.

"...This feels weird," Yang said after a few seconds.

"It's probably because I'm naked," Ruby explained.

"Yeah, you are. In fact I think we should all put our clothes on and get out of here. If Goodwitch sees this we're all screwed," Jaune spoke up, grabbing his hoodie from underneath the wreckage of the door.

"Well, we're not _all_ screwed yet," Ruby giggled.

Yang stared at Jaune thoughtfully which didn't help him at all as he struggled to slip into his pants. She turned to Pyrrha who was having a far easier time of it. Jaune envied her natural grace.

"Maybe Ruby's right. I've never really felt the urge to date anyone, but I guess I could always try to see what I've been missing. Is that okay?" She asked.

Pyrrha glanced at her, then to Ruby and finally Jaune who shook his head frantically.

Yeah Yang was super hot, but the girl had literally just been about to murder him. Why she was suddenly now interested in getting some was beyond him. Had he suddenly woken up more attractive to women or something?

"Yes," Pyrrha ignored him entirely, a strangely pleased note in her voice. "I don't see why not."

He'd be getting her a cane and some gold rings too, Jaune decided sourly.

* * *

"I just thought of something - doesn't Jaune have, like, a bazillion sisters?"

"Seven," Ren answered after a moment, before continuing against his better judgement. "...Why?"

"Well, do you reckon their Sister Senses all go off at once when he and Pyrrha, y'know, do their thing?" Nora elaborated, pumping her fingers together in an unnecessarily lewd manner. "Or maybe he can sense them? Probably happens all the time then. But he's not a sister. Do you think it goes both ways?"

"Must we continue this?" Weiss cut in irritably. "And stop doing that, it's disgusting."

"Another thing," Nora ignored her with practiced ease, "didn't Jauney's message say he was gonna be 'doing something important', so he couldn't show up for this? We all know he and Ruby have always been kinda close…" Nora said suspiciously. "Also, all in!"

Weiss didn't take her eyes off of the large pile of chips before her while Blake and Ren shared a look.

"He did, yes. That doesn't mean he's… involved in whatever Ruby is up to," Ren tried to reason with her despite his years of experience. One day it would work. He just had to keep trying.

"Puh-lease. I think Ruby has better taste than that. Besides, he's already dating Pyrrha - though sometimes I can't figure out why she bothers. Regardless, even he's not stupid enough to ruin that relationship," Weiss derided him, mainly out of habit more than actual dislike, as she slapped down her cards in annoyance. "I fold too."

"Pyrrha's not here either though," Nora concluded, grinning happily at the discarded cards before the Heiress.

"You think he's… Both of them?" Blake's eyes were wide and her cheeks red. She valiantly tried not to imagine it but the image refused to go away.

Nora shrugged, but her eyes belied a smugness rarely found in the chipper girl.

"They are very good friends after all. And Yang's not back yet either. Just a thought."

As the others reflected on this revelation, she pulled the pile towards herself. It was good to be the Queen.

* * *

It didn't take them too long to find a new spot, Beacon was full of little covert areas to indulge themselves in, and Jaune and Pyrrha had used most of them. Jaune had argued that their dorm was safest, but he'd been shot down as the other members of their teams may have returned by now.

That had been his hope too, though he kept that to himself. He was feeling a little winded, like he'd been through a day of Pyrrha's extra-tough training regimens. Ruby had been voracious once they'd gotten her going, and his near-death experience hadn't helped either. This could always be continued another time, when they could all look back and laugh about it.

His opinion, as ever, seemed to be noted and discarded. Wasn't he meant to be a Team Leader? Admittedly Ruby was also a Team Leader, Yang wasn't even on his team, and Pyrrha was his girlfriend so he was probably obligated to please her.

Sometimes he didn't know why he bothered speaking up.

"Okay," he gave in. "I'm guessing that you two still going to be here as well," he said to Pyrrha and Ruby.

"Of course," Pyrrha said, smiling at him as happily as ever.

"Yeah! Yang's my sister, I need to be here to show her the ropes too," Ruby continued, as though she had more than a few hours worth of knowledge to share.

Why were all the women in his life so strange? Was it too late to become gay? He'd heard that someone in Team Cardinal was, maybe they'd be interested.

Oh what the hell. It was time to man up.

"Right, sure, whatever," He was past questioning this madness. "...How are we doing this?"

"Kiss her," Pyrrha prompted immediately.

"Of course…" Jaune grumbled, but only for a moment.

"You'll enjoy this, Yang, Jau-"

He cut off Pyrrha's words, surging forward to grasp Yang by her shoulders and pull her to him. Her lilac eyes widened in shock as his lips crashed onto her own.

"Wow, didn't think you had it in you," Yang admitted after he released her.

"You'll find there's a lot more to me now than there used to be," Jaune bragged.

Sue him, it was more than earned at this point.

"Oh? Going to show me what my sister and the Invincible Girl see in you?" Yang smirked. "Hope you're better here than you are in the ring."

"When I'm done, you'll be unable to walk properly," he promised.

Yang laughed.

"Ooh. That's quite the boast. Guess we'll see," she grinned.

"Guess we will," he replied. "Clothes off, now."

"Yes sir," she snapped a mock salute with her bionic hand.

* * *

"Pyrrha, are you _recording_ this?" Jaune asked, flabbergasted.

"...No?" She replied, still pointing her scroll at them.

"You are! What the-" His complaints were silenced by an impatient Ruby, who bit his thigh to show her displeasure at her present lack of pleasure.

"Nice. Ruby, can you move just a little to the left? I can't get a good shot," Pyrrha requested as Jaune gasped in slight pain but began moving his hand once more.

"Sure," she chirped, shifting slightly. "If dat gud?" She asked, her voice muffled as she returned to servicing Jaune.

"That's great," Pyrrha praised her.

"Come on Jaune, what's the hold up?" Yang asked.

"The hold up is that this has suddenly turned into a sex tape! What if someone gets a hold of it, then what will people think?" He replied.

He'd be the most hated man in the world. The envy and jealousy that would spread throughout the male gender could cause a Grimm apocalypse! He still occasionally got angry messages over him dating Pyrrha. Apparently he wasn't worthy of her.

He agreed, honestly, but she didn't so that was that.

"That you're one lucky guy and quite the stud?" Yang responded, bored with his lack of physical response. In on casual movement she grabbed him by the shoulder and shoved him down on his back.

Well that was also true, he considered as Yang crawled up on top of him and began plunging down with force that let him know he was going to have some decidedly sore thighs tomorrow. His reputation had certainly increased amongst his peers after Pyrrha had claimed him for her own, death threats notwithstanding.

"Yang!" Ruby complained, displaced by her action.

"Sorry, sis. His face is free now though," Yang crowed, unrepentant.

"Perfect!" Pyrrha smiled as Ruby began to straddle Jaune.

Gods was his life weird.

* * *

Haggard.

That was the only word that accurately described Jaune at that moment. He staggered along, wincing slightly at the soreness and chafing of his clothes against his body. Though he'd lived up to his promise, it had cost him just as much. He had managed to escape their ravages, barely, and was so close, his dorm was just around the corner now.

A face appeared from nowhere, with aquamarine eyes widening in delight as he recoiled in shock.

"Jauney!" Nora cried, proffering a box at him. "I got this for you."

It was to significantly less surprise than any other person would have warranted that Jaune accepted the cake bearing the words "Gratz on the Sex!" rather sloppily written in bright pink icing on it. There was a large bite taken out of the edge already.

Nora licked her lips a little guiltily.

"Thanks, Nora," he said automatically, though it was with some trepidation he asked. "...How did you know?"

He hoped she hadn't been watching again.

Nora grinned, offering him an exaggerated wink and a double finger gun.

"Guess my Big Sister Sense must have been tingling too," she laughed.

He watched her turn and swan away, his face scrunched up in confusion. Big Sister Sense? Sometimes he really wondered what went on in her head.

"But I'm two months older than you," he muttered to her retreating back. Nora gave no indication of hearing him.

Boy had this been a strange day. At least he could go and have a rest now - he surely needed it. With the cake secured under his arm and the door opened with a swipe of his scroll, he absently wandered inside his dorm, eager for the relaxation he undoubtedly deserved.

Three faces stared up at him from within his bed.

"Hello again!"

"Hey there Lady Killer."

"Hiya Jaune."

A tear leaked from his eye as reality settled in. What had he done to deserve this? Every man's dream? Pah! There really could be too much of a good thing.

He stared at the naked flesh arrayed before him. His cock gave a twitch, whether of desire or horror he didn't know. Either way...

This was his life now.

* * *

It was quiet. Too quiet.

She'd grown used to the sounds of destruction and mayhem that certain students perpetrated on a regular basis over the last couple of years. It caused her no end of aggravation, but it was at least a staple. And yet for the past few days there had been almost nothing, with the exception of one mysteriously destroyed door, a strangely damp desk and a slightly damaged library chair.

Sadly property damage was not an unusual occurrence in a school such as theirs, even guests who didn't attend the school would sometimes cause major destruction. It was fortunate that she was able to fix the damage herself or they would quickly be bankrupt in repair fees.

As she walked, juggling some of the ever-flowing paperwork that constantly landed on her desk and wishing that she could push it off onto someone else as Ozpin had, a low groan caught her attention.

What was that? It sounded like a person. A person in pain. Was a student injured?

She quickened her pace, riding crop at the ready to assist or separate any students that might be involved in an unsanctioned "sparring match". Teaching children to fight often ended up with their hot heads clashing, eager to test their skills. Sadly some of them never grew out of it.

But it was no fight. A lone man trudged, occasionally stumbling, through the halls, his hair ragged and dirty, clothes torn and tattered, skin pale and bloodless, littered with bites, bruises and scratches. Every once in a while he let out another grunt or moan as he shuffled along.

Fear laced her heart. Though she was not a superstitious woman, she had heard of such creatures. Seen the films, the horrors that they could perpetrate. She had thought it all a childish work of fiction, but there was no doubting it; this was one of the living dead, come to feast on the flesh of the students!

"Face me, foul monster!" She cried, thrusting her crop forward.

Said foul monster paused before turning to face her as requested.

Dead blue eyes set in a sunken visage met her own. The straggly blond hair fell in a way that seemed familiar.

It opened its maw and spewed out a guttural howl.

A moment passed before she realised that it had been her name.

It knew her?

She held her riding crop cautiously but the undead monster didn't move. For a moment, woman and former man stared at each other, until it clicked into place.

"Mister Arc?" She whispered, aghast.

The creature that had once been Jaune Arc made a noise that very well could have been a yes.

"What on Remnant happened to you?" She demanded, walking closer.

His choked response had her freezing in her tracks once more, but it was not fear that held her back now.

"What? All three of them?" She asked, shocked.

The gurgling continued.

"At the same time? For how long?"

He shuddered, unable to reply for a moment, before finally spitting out a response.

"My goodness! And it was all her idea?"

He nodded sorrowfully.

"I am shocked at this, I have to say. Don't worry Mister Arc, I will have a word with your partner about her behaviour," she told him.

This seemed to satisfy the creature, who mumbled his thanks and bonelessly slumped off.

She watched him go thoughtfully. Yes, she would certainly have a word with Pyrrha Nikos. Such a generous girl it seemed, so willing to share…

All three at the same time? Goodness. It was little wonder his mother had ended up having eight children with stamina like that in the bloodline.

Things had been too quiet, but Glynda Goodwitch had a feeling that was going to change very soon indeed.

* * *

 **There you have it folks. Harems aren't as fun as they sound - even if the spirit's willing, the flesh becomes spongy and bruised. Hope you all enjoyed.**

 **Also don't expect a sequel to this, that last part was just for fun.**


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